Cleaver Family Update
10th Anniversary
4 March 2006
We have had several emails asking after our family and we love to receive these as it shows people are still reading about our girl. Unfortunately I suspect some emails slip through as spam and get deleted, but I think mostly we receive them.
It is 10 years next month since our only daughter left
us. Today I was sorting out my study
and I found a photo of Sarah I had not seen for a while – it was taken in
happy times a year before she died when we were on a holiday in Club Med in
But generally though life goes on.
Brian’s cancer was diagnosed 4 years ago on 1 April and now he has one year to get to the 5-year clearance. I suppose getting cancer and being told your chances of survival are not high must have an affect on your outlook. Brian is currently employed in a job as a casual, which means no real stability, and the income is not as high as he could get in a more high-powered accounting position. But he enjoys this job, which is more important to him that the monetary reward. He has also much more health conscious and is happy to eat the vast quantities of vegetables that I feed him. In our house junk food and take away are consumed only occasionally. He now enjoys his gym and bike riding and looks great.
Our boys are doing well. Brad is 24 and is living in
Michael will be 23 this year and has finally finished his
Maths/Physics degree after having time off to travel to the
Nissy, Sarah’s dog, died a couple of years back and making the decision to get her put down was very traumatic. She was Sarah’s dog and when Sarah was dying I promised her I would take good care of Nissy. But there was no choice and even Brian cried like a baby when the deed was done.
As for me, I still grieve over the loss of my dearest daughter who I adored so much. On days like this when I allow myself the luxury of grief, I remember anew just how much I adored her. Mostly in my day to day life I talk about Sarah in a detached way, just a shallow surface way, so that people would have no idea what I feel in darker moments.
Career wise I am now working as a lecturer in chemistry at a technical college, and although I was terrified at first I now love it. I love the personality range of my students and I get plenty of opportunities to live by one of my mottos – “always look for the good in people”! And of course I love science and education.
I still live by the other mottos “Carpe Diem” and “always look on the bright side of life”. I don’t work full time and I have a disabled friend who loves cycling as much as me, and we also go bowling, for coffee and walking together. A stroke has left this friend unable to work full time and with epilepsy and hemiplegic, so employment options are somewhat limited. We have recently begun as volunteer dog walkers at the Dog Haven and are considering other avenues as well.